[Seith and Sword] Feedback and Questions

[Chall]

Hi,

I'm Chris Challice, author of Seith and Sword. Thank you backers, you rock.

For those who've read the novel, if you have any feedback or questions on it, please feel free to post them here or PM me. I'd love to hear from you.

To see other stuff I've written checkout https://taoofchall.wordpress.com/


Regards,

[DavetheLost]

Now some where around chapter 25. I am finding teh tiny font easier to read in paper than on screen.

I am really liking this, but it is dark.I can see how a lot of it would play out with FotN rules, but it doesn't read like game mechanics, it reads like a story set in teh world the game mechanics are based on. Not an easy trick. Too many gaming (or movie tie in) novels feel contrived to fit the rules or else stray so far from the rules that they feel like a different world entirely.

As a fan of Michael Scott Rohan's "Winter of the World" trilogy, it is interesting to read a very different story featuring a master smith and Louhi. Makes me want to read Kalevala and other sources on the mythology behind some of this.

[Chall]

Cool, you finished Gotland and are getting into Gorm the Old territory.

Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad Seith and Sword feels like the game while not bowing completely to table top contrivance. I've tried to keep the spells and maneuvers true to the book, though I confess, I stretched a little when I had Vanadis turn someone into a mouse, as opposed to a frog.

I'd like to say I don't usually write dark stuff...but a look at some of my other works say otherwise. Though Dragon Trinity Crash is a little more lighthearted.

Let me know what you think when you've finished the novel.

-C

[DavetheLost]

Finished it. That was quite an ending.

I would read another if you decide to write it.

I have to say you r=write combat scenes that hold their own against Robert E Howard. Very exciting and action packed.

This has inspired me to start reading Kalevala. Thank you for taking the story beyond Midgard

[Chall]

Thanks. I would love to write another. Right now got a new pot on the fire, hopefully I can tackle a new FoTN novel after that.

I am very honored at that estimation of my combat scenes.

I definitely recommend reading the Kalevala.

I'm glad you like Seith and Sword. Thank you so much for reading.

[raleel]

Working through it now. Chapter 10.

I think that you have an interesting habit of describing the look of the character when you introduce the character. Not merely as part of the first couple of pages, but rather in the first two sentences. It happens enough that I noticed it. It makes the flow kind of strange to me. It strikes me like someone introducing his character in a gaming group. There are some other elements that remind me of "game first, novel second" sort of feel that I've not quite all put together yet in my head.

The word you want when describing Vanadis and Gamli on the boat is "pockmarked", not 'potmarked'. Pockmarked is when your face looks very scarred from acne. No such word as the latter. About halfway through chapter 9, you switch to spelling it as Siff. It's just Sif. These together make me think it needs another round of editing.

I am not particularly fond of the layout or the format, nor the typography. Is there some reason that stock trade paperback was not available? The white space distribution also seems a bit off.

I would have liked more talking about Vanadis' enslavement to justify her feelings towards Dorte early on. The first bits feel kind of rushed to get out the door and onto the main plot line. It doesn't breed any sympathy toward her. Gamli's romance seems very fast, and not compelling yet.

I just got through it, but Mjoll's fate seems rather... Silly and somewhat uninteresting. It mostly just gives Hardegon an easy out.

Still working through it though. On vacation so I finally get a chance to read a bit

[Chall]

Thanks for the feedback Raleel.

There's more about Vanadis' enslavement and why she feels guilty about Dorte further on, I hope it works for you.

Obviously I wrote Mjoll's fate as to be moving, I was basing it off some of the hall burnings in the sagas. I wrote it to be poignant, and it is, from my prescriptive. However, if you found it silly then perhaps I missed my mark? I certainly hope not. Still, I'll look over the scene again and hone in on what I could have done better.

Keep reading the novel, please let me know what you think. I appreciate all feedback.

- Chall

[raleel]

Up to chapter 18 now after taking a bit of a break and revisiting. I think these are much stronger chapters as a whole. The story is far more compelling and you are spending your time talking about the figures from the Kalevala. It makes me think this has a personal interest to you. It's enough of a difference that I would wonder what he difference is in the author. It is MUCH better.

The bit about the editing and the character introductions is still there, though the story is stronger as a whole and thus makes these things a bit less distracting. Still, quite a few typos and outright character confusion on occasion. these are the sort of things that get glossed over by someone with a background in the myths I think.

I like the view of the seithkona and the blacksmith. From the gamer perspective that helps me place those a bit more. Particularly the seithkona which has always proved somewhat troublesome in my mind with Possession in the game. This gives me a context for that.

[Chall]

Thanks for the further feedback Raleel.

I have to admit, I fell in love with the Kalevala while I was researching. It's an awesome series of tales and I hope I successfully did it justice in these chapters.

I'm very glad you found useful ideas to take out of the book. The Seithkona is my favorite archetype but I found it wierd that they'd summon random spirits into themselves. I figured it made a lot more sense that they form a spirit entourage from which they'd regularly draw their power. Game wise I speak about that a little more in the Playbook.

- Chall